Statistics suggest that approximately 10 to 15 per cent of Canadian women are abused in a relationship. The difficulty with statistics is that some agencies multiply the numbers of verified incidents in order to account for under-reporting. An additional difficulty is that the definition of "abuse" has been expanded over the years from the commonly understood concept of physical violence to include emotional abuse and even "neglect." For example, if a partner threatens to commit suicide this is considered emotional abuse and may therefore quite properly come under the heading of domestic abuse, but it is hardly the type of activity most people commonly associate with "abuse."

Abuse statistics reached an all-time high in 1993 when Statistics Canada reported that one in three men abused their partners. The number was so far removed from people’s experience that it was popularly discredited. The most recent StatsCan study, Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile 2000, reported that nationally, eight per cent of women and seven percent of men who had been married or in a common law relationship in the previous five years, experienced some form of violence during that period.

Men’s groups often claim that many incidents of abuse (as reported by women) are false. A study of Canadian family law decisions (conducted by respected Queen’s University professor Nicholas Bala and John Schumann and published in the Canadian Family Law Quarterly in in 2000 determined that judges found abuse to have occurred in 23 per cent of those family law cases where an allegation of abuse was made. The study also states that in 35 per cent of those cases there was evidence of abuse but not enough to support a finding that abuse occurred. In addition, in 22.9 per cent of the cases, judges found the allegation of abuse was intentionally false. Taken in sum, most claims of domestic violence or sexual abuse fall into the category of unfounded. Unfortunately that doesn’t stop women’s groups and men’s groups from manipulating the data to support their particular views of the problem.

Regardless of whether the definition of abuse is too broad or how many false reports are made, Canada has a problem with domestic violence. Men and women, heterosexuals and homosexuals, children and grandparents, rich and poor, are all potentially at risk of being victims of domestic violence. While men are undoubtedly the victims in many cases (especially of "emotional abuse"), women clearly suffer the most severe forms of physical abuse most often. The violent and tragic consequences of some abusive relationships are well-known and far too frequent for allegations to be ignored or treated lightly by the courts or to be dismissed as exaggerations.

Statistics Canada concluded that during the past 20 years women were almost four times more likely than men to be murdered by a spouse. The "good news" presented by the study is that the number of women being murdered by men is slowly dropping. The bad news is that the number of men being murdered by women is increasing. Of individuals under the age of 25, women are twice as likely as men to be murdered by their spouse.

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DOMESTIC ABUSE ALLEGATIONS IN FAMILY LAW CASES
Findings of abuse can have a number of consequences in a family law case.

• A court will make a non-harassment order directing the abusive spouse not to contact the victim, and may provide particular restrictions regarding the type of activity that is forbidden. If the abuser breaches that order, he or she may be found guilty of contempt. Also, the Ontario Provincial Police can arrest without warrant, anyone whom they reasonably believe is breaching such an order.

• A finding of abuse will almost certainly entitle the victim to exclusive possession of the matrimonial home.

• A finding of abuse will also certainly result in the victim being awarded custody.

• A finding of abuse may result in the other parent having his or her access suspended, reduced or supervised.

• A finding of abuse may result in a divorce being granted on the grounds of cruelty.

• A finding of abuse may result in additional damages for personal injury or intentional infliction of mental suffering, and may be a factor in the calculation of the amount of spousal support ordered to be paid.

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ALLEGATION OF ABUSE
Just the allegation of abuse opens the door to the possibility of such consequences at least on a temporary basis. Judges will often err on the side of caution and even though abuse has not been proven, will not want to run any risks. Consequently, people accused of abuse may be ordered out of the house on the basis of allegations or a temporary restraining order may be made on the basis of allegations alone.

The potential impact of abuse or allegations of abuse can, therefore, be quite significant to the party who is accused. The consequences to a spouse who has falsely alleged abuse are not so dramatically or frequently applied.

The Bala-Johnson study referred to earlier reported that in cases where the allegation was proven, 41 per cent of abusers lost access rights and a further 12 per cent had their access reduced to supervised access. In those cases where the allegations were proven false, however, only 21 per cent of the complainants lost custodial rights and even then, the loss of those rights was not always related to the false allegation of abuse. Perhaps even more disturbing, only one per cent of complainants were charged and convicted of public mischief or perjury relating to the false accusations, and only three per cent were sanctioned in the family law proceeding. In other words, being found to be an abuser resulted in rather severe negative consequences to 53 per cent of the abusers, while only 25 per cent of those who made false accusations suffered any negative consequences (and some of those consequences were not related to the false allegation of abuse).

The difficulty with allegations of abuse in family law cases is often one of evidence. There are seldom any witnesses to the abuse. Even when there are witnesses, the witness may be related to or close friends of the complaining spouse. So courts are often left to examine the behaviour of the complainant.

A person who has been abused may behave in a way that seems to negate an allegation of abuse. For example, she may remain with the abuser for any number of reasons, she may not report the abuse to her doctor or go to a hospital because of embarrassment, she may not discuss the abuse with her family or friends because she is ashamed, and she may not report the incident to the police because she does not want to get her spouse in trouble. Maybe her spouse threatened her; a court cannot necessarily draw any conclusions from the fact that a spouse did not report the abuse to a third party.

A spouse who has not been abused will obviously not go to a hospital or to her doctor to be treated for injuries she never received, she will not discuss or tell her friends she has been abused and she will not report abuse to the police. The behaviour of an abused spouse and a non-abused spouse might appear similar and courts are often asked to draw conclusions based on social studies and statistics. How a person behaves, therefore, is often the only evidence a person has regarding abuse.

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ADVICE FOR THE VICTIM
A person who is the victim of domestic violence requires a great deal of assistance. If the violence is ongoing, he/she must develop a safety plan.

A safety plan should include the following:
• Arranging alternate sources of accommodation.
• Keeping a spare set of car keys.
• Keeping a list of emergency numbers of friends and professionals including cab companies and lawyers.
• Keeping a hidden supply of emergency funds.
• Keep a record of abusive incidents and to whom they were reported.
Keep important documents such as the children’s birth certificates, passports, financial information, bank cards, etc. in a safe place where the abuser is not likely to find it.

If there has been physical violence or threats the police should be told. If the abuser has not left, the victim should call 911 and stay on the line until the police arrive. There is a reason for this; the fact that a victim is speaking with the police may be intimidating to the abuser who will try and talk the victim into hanging up. The victim should not hang up. Also, it is recommended that the victim avoid the kitchen (for obvious reasons) and the bathroom. A bathroom tends to be a confined space with only one exit and a number of hard surfaces that can cause serious injury.

After an incident of violence, if the perpetrator has left the premises, the victim should immediately go to an emergency room or clinic to be treated and for a record of the injury to be made. A photograph should be taken if possible. Following the medical examination, the victim should report the violence to the police.

PLEASE NOTE that there is no longer any reporting to the police just to put the complaint "on the record," without charges being laid. If someone reports abuse (especially physical abuse or threatening physical abuse) to the police, charges will almost certainly be laid. Once the charges are laid, it will be difficult to have them withdrawn. If a complainant subsequently refuses to co-operate with the police or changes his or her story at or before trial, there is risk the complainant might be charged with public mischief or obstruction of justice.

This is not meant to deter a person who has been physically abused from reporting the incident. However, victims should be aware of the consequences that arise from allegations of abuse. For anyone who may consider making a false allegation of physical abuse to the police, you will find that the situation quickly and literally leaves your control. Such an allegation cannot easily be retracted, if at all.

After a report has been made to the police, a victim should find a safe place to go. There are many shelters in the Toronto-area that are clean, comfortable and secure. If the victim does not have a lawyer he or she should contact the lawyer referral service [(416) 947-3333 or on the web at http://www.lsuc.on.ca/public/referral_en.jsp so that you can get into court and obtain an order for exclusive possession of your home as quickly as possible.

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KEEPING RECORDS OF ABUSE
With respect to keeping records of the abuse, the victim must almost immediately begin to record the incidents and the particulars of abuse. They should write down everything they can remember of an incident, no matter how trivial it might seem.

• What day and time did the incident occurr?
• What happened?
• What was said by whom?
• Who was there?
• What form did the violence take?
• What specific injuries were suffered?
• What previous acts of abuse were suffered?
• What action was taken, if any?
• The dates of any previous police reports and the names and badge numbers of the police who investigated; and similar information regarding medical staff.

The reason for these specifics is that the victim will later be examined on the abuse allegations, so the more certain the victim is about the specifics, the more convincing the allegations become. Plus, at an examination, it is far easier to remember and stick to the truth as it happened if written records exist. Guessing or uncertainty on the witness stand can be a disaster when facing cross-examination by experienced counsel.

For further information on how to deal with abuse, a victim may wish to call the 24-hour abuse crisis line at (416) 863-0511 or toll-free at 1-866-863-0511. Further information is also available on-line at http://www.awhl.org/contact.htm. The crisis hotline is always available, accepts collect calls and can deal with emergencies as well as direct the victim to other support services.

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ADVICE FOR THE ACCUSED
If you are a spouse who has been victimized by a false allegation of abuse, the support system is not nearly as broad or well-defined. Sometimes there will be warning signs that you are being "set-up." If your spouse is saying strange things in a louder-than-usual voice you can assume you are being recorded. If, for example, you and your spouse are having an argument and your spouse suddenly says in a loud voice, "What are you going to do, hit me again?" even though you have never hit him/her in the past, calmly (but loudly) deny the accusation.

If you suspect that you are being "set up" put your concerns "on the record" in conversations with a lawyer, doctor or priest. Keep a written record of incidents. Carry a small tape recorder with you and get into court quickly, don’t wait to be placed on the defensive.

IF YOU ARE ARRESTED, do not say anything to the police beyond a simple and direct denial and ask to contact a lawyer.

There are good reasons why lawyers advise their clients not to say anything to the police. For one thing, the police are not your friends in this situation. They are not interviewing you to obtain evidence of your innocence or even to find out what really happened. They are trying to find facts they can use against you. If you say nothing, you give them no facts. Also, in a subsequent trial if there is any deviation between your sworn testimony, (should you choose to testify), and your statement to the police, no matter how trivial or seemingly inconsequential, the Crown Attorney will attack you on it. At best the Crown will accuse you of being uncertain or mistaken and may rattle you enough so that the rest of your testimony is delivered in a nervous manner (implying guilt). At the worst, the Crown will accuse you of misleading the police or perjuring yourself.

The police will often attempt to trick a suspect into speaking to them. Common tricks are for a police officer to say something like, "Look, if nothing happened, just tell us and you’ll be okay," or, "It’s your right not to say anything, but I know if I was accused of beating my child and I hadn’t done it, I’d sure want my version on the record," or, "Let’s go outside for a walk in the hall, just the two of us, no notebooks," or, "If you talk to us now, things will be a lot easier on you later."

Do not agree to any plea without asking to speak to duty counsel. The police or even Crown Attorneys may tell you that all you have to do to get out of this situation is agree to a several month long anger management course and it will be over. What they do not tell you is that you have to plead guilty before you can take the course.

When it comes to retaining a lawyer, if the allegations are being dealt with in the context of a family law action, hire an experienced family law lawyer. If the allegations are being dealt with in criminal court, hire an experienced criminal lawyer.

For information about how to deal with a situation where you fear or are facing false allegations of abuse you may wish to contact Father’s Are Capable Too at (416) 410-FACT or at http://www.fact.on.ca.

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